This episode might as well have been titled “Everybody Hates LuAnn” because she was on the tip of everyone’s tongues, and not in a good way. Carole is still miffed about LuAnn’s one-upping in London, and Ramona is pissed because LuAnn plays a trick on her. Meanwhile, the Singers join the Dreschers down in Miami, where we encounter the most amazing man ever to grace our television sets: Aviva’s father, George. Check out my favorite scenes from this week’s episode!
The housewives meet up for lunch and it seems that gossip is on the menu! (LOLz couldn’t resist!) During the conversation, Ramona is applying neck cream… at the table. What WOULD the Countess have to say about this?!
Ramona is delighted when all the ladies start talking smack about LuAnn. Looks like the Queen Bee is about to be back on top!
Aviva invites the ladies to Miami, and wants to set Sonja up with her dad, who his own daughter calls a “sex addict.” How she knows this, I do not know. Just when you thought you had gotten rid of the most uncomfortable relationship ever witnessed (Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen), we have Aviva and her superfreak dad to contend with.
Heather sets up a meeting to review the logo for Sonja and the City, but Sonja can’t see the forest for the trees, and makes her toaster oven the focal point of the meeting. She disagrees with everything the “experts” tell her. She didn’t spend the last decade padding around her Upper East Side apartment in slippers, fixing snacks in the toaster, to be bossed around by a couple of suits!
LuAnn and her mans, Jacques, host a party to play some “wine games.” Ramona arrives by giving LuAnn an awkward hug from behind. The two seem cordial together, and it’s clear that Ramona and LuAnn are the new Ramona and Jill Zarin. Of course, Ramona refuses to play along and won’t be blindfolded. Nothing shall mask the eyes of a rabid dog! Of course, she is the wine aficionado, having developed her own Pinot Grigio, and also having started drinking at 7 a.m. that day. LuAnn plays a trick on her, serving her her own wine and hoping Ramona wouldn’t recognize it. Ramona and Mario are not pleased.
Aviva and Reid go down to Miami, and Aviva even hangs out on the balcony! What’s next?! Side note: is this the first episode in which no one mentioned Aviva’s prosthetic leg?
George – Aviva’s sex addict father – arrives, as does Reid’s mother, Marilyn. Immediately, George compliments Aviva’s tan and says, “If I wasn’t your father, boy, I’d be after you!” Eh, a little sick, but this guy is hysterical; right after Reid’s mother says that she lives in Boca, George announces that Boca is where people go to die. Then he announces that while he can’t “fool around” with Marilyn, but she will probably date a black Baptist… or get herself a good vibrator. OH MY GOD someone give him and Rosie Pierri their own show.
There she is! Immediately, Ramona finds fault with the gorgeous apartment. There are pictures of the Dreschers all over their own apartment – how dare they!
Back in NY, Heather nad LuAnn get their eyebrows waxed, and someone dares to insult LuAnn’s eyebrows! Hey, bitch: this are royal eyebrows. A little respect, please?
Aviva didn’t invite Heather to Miami, after Heather invited her to London. She also lets it slip that Sonja gets annoyed by LuAnn entering the room before her, and that’s sort of an exaggeration. Carole was the one really bitching about the Countess, and Sonja just added her two cents.
^ Channeling Joan Rivers?
Meanwhile, Carole and her friend are hanging around Carole’s swanky NYC apartment, and it’s clearly another LuAnn bashing sesh. LuAnn borrowed a dress from Carole’s favorite designer, which strikes Carole as very poor etiquette. LuAnn just sucks: she just sucks!
Aviva takes the crew to a restaurant in South Beach on her dad’s suggestion and lets it slip that her father wanted her to order the huge Kobe beef hot-dog. After the other scene with him, I’d say that Aviva is in need of some major therapy. At least he wasn’t there to watch her eat it… unless he was watching at another table. *Shudder*
Ramona is having an orgasmic eating experience and the peepers were poppin’, so you know she approved of the food. More LuAnn shit-talking. Mario’s impression of Jacques was HYSTERICAL and dead-on, and he does sound like Pepe La Pew! It’s hard to see now how the relationship between the Singers and Dreschers deteriorates… but I can’t wait to watch!
(Photos via Bravotv.com)