Finally, the Cool Girls land in London and immediately it’s the Battle of the Blue Bloods: Countess LuAnn versus Princess Carole. One uses the title inexhaustibly, the other is so demure that she is embarrassed by the mere mention! Obviously, this is a recipe for disaster, and I am just eating it all up! In between partying with the Cool Girls, Heather works on her Yummie Tummie events, and Ramona has sort of a similar accomplishment, teaching a class at the Learning Annex (snort). Of course, this is after Ramona gawks at Aviva’s fake leg like she’s never taken a page out of Class with the Countess! Take a look at my favorite scenes from this week’s episode.
Carole, Sonja, and LuAnn show up in London. Immediately, we have to size up the royalty: Carole is an actual princess and a relative of the Kennedys, which is as close to American royalty as we know; Sonja is an ex-member of the ridiculously-wealthy Morgan family, which is almost American royalty, and LuAnn is… the ex-wife of a count of a family few Americans have ever heard of outside of a 5th grade history textbook. It makes me feel a little sad, actually; LuAnn probably thought she had something special, and here come these ladies stomping on her royal parade! I wouldn’t blame her for being miffed. All those years sleeping with that geriatric in Gstaad and nobody in America gives a shit?!
The Ladies Left Behind go shoe-shopping together, and Ramona acts like a complete buffoon about Aviva’s prosthesis. She asks, like a kid who forgot his Ritalin, if Aviva has fake toes. Because Aviva chose to lose her leg but keep her toes…naturally. Aviva’s prosthetic leg cost $25,000 and she has at least three of them, so they look incredibly real. Ramona’s peepers are POPPIN’ when she sees Aviva’s leg. She can’t believe Aviva can go on a bathing suit… on the beach! Just like the rest of us!
The London ladies head off to Notting Hill to do some shopping, which is also apparently where Carole used to live after her husband passed away. She shares a bit of her life in widowhood, then consequently gets annoyed with LuAnn jumping in to seemingly bring the conversation back to her. It didn’t seem that offensive to me, and I can’t help but wonder if Ramona has gotten to Carole first, and tried to turn her against Lu-Lu.
The girls then meet Heather at a dinner for Yummie Tummie, where it’s clearly Carole versus LuAnn on the royalty count. An invited guests breaks the fourth wall and announces that he has heard they have a “princess on the show,” who is clearly Carole, and LuAnn smirks like, “And a countess, you fuckin’ moron!” Carole feels stupid standing up to announce why she likes the Yummie Tummie brand, because clearly the twig doesn’t need to wear it, so she sits and says something simple. Then LuAnn proceeds to stand and give a lovely toast, much to Carole’s chagrin.
Carole accompanies Heather to her TV performance, and Heather is instructed that she’s only allowed to say Yummie Tummie once. That would for sure be a problem for shameless, self-promoting Bethenny Frankel!
Ramona appears at the Learning Annex, which Heather has already poo-pooed. I also bet Heather wouldn’t approve of this outfit, as its the same silk shift and plain jewelry look that she has already decided needs a makeover. Real Housewives seem to be a dime a dozen at the Learning Annex; Bethenny Frankel has already taught a class here, and apparently Sonja has, too. Ramona seems to be her typically high-strung self, freaking out because she doesn’t like the height of the table where she is going to put her water glass. Diva, much?
The ladies spend a night in at the penthouse, ordering in take-out and taking pictures. Carole tells the ladies the proper waist-to-hip ratio, which indicates fertility, and of course LuAnn is all over that, as she wants Jacques’ baby in her now. Honey, she’s going to need a lot more than a tape measure for that one!
Back in New York, Ramona and Aviva and their men meet up for sushi, and proceed to wonder what the Cool Girls are up to in London. Ramona is sticking to the “Heather talking too much” story-line. Apparently, it’s not bothering the London ladies too much, as they are getting naked-wasted and playing “the sex game.”
Ramona’s impression of Heather makes her look even more of a Chihuahua, but it’s hilarious, because the “pageant smile” is actually dead on! And how funny/awkward was LuAnn talking about Heather inspiring her to make a “gangsta-chic” song?! Just stopppp talking, Mom, oh my God! Cannot wait to see LuAnn pissing Carole off next episode!
(Photos via Bravotv.com)