‘Real Housewives of New York City’ Season 5 Episode 10 Recap

On this episode of Real Housewives of New York City, Sonja and Heather square off about Sonja’s brand. Heather, who Sonja asked for help, assembled a team of “experts” to help her, and Sonja repays the favor by inviting Ramona to the meeting and doubting everything they say. Meanwhile, LuAnn is still contemplating getting herself knocked up on purpose, and Sonja shares a personal story. This all comes out in the form of a few too many drinks at LuAnn’s holiday party, when Sonja decides to confront Jacques, Dad-like, about his intentions. Take a look at my favorite scenes from this week’s episode!

Heather and her team of branding experts show up for a business meeting at Sonja’s house and are approached by the unthinkable: Ramona. What the F is she doing here?! In typical Ramona fashion, she doesn’t hold back and criticizes the logo Heather’s team has created, and Sonja follows suit. Heather’s business associate tells Ramona to be quiet. Oh, hell no. She responds by taking a call at the table, Cindy Barshop style.

“I’ve been a successful businesswoman for 30 years!”

I’m with Ramona; Aviva’s constant mentions of her ex, Harry, are strange, especially because she always talks about him in front of her current husband, Reid. What’s more: Reid doesn’t seem to mind, and likes to talk about Harry, too… and actually says nice things! Have you all heard the latest gossip that Aviva is now claiming that Harry has never been a father to their son, Harrison, and doesn’t pay child support or for his health insurance? These niceties are a far cry from the story about her screaming at him in a grocery store!

Carole is honestly starting to grate on me. Yeah, the Indian call was a little – uh – racist, but I don’t know if American Indian is in fact a legitimate term now. It seems like she finds fault with everything LuAnn does. I know that we were all taught to say “Native American” in grade school. When I heard LuAnn use it seasons ago, I figured it was PC again, because she was using it so confidently, and actually is American Indian or Native American, whatever.. So is it or isn’t it an OK phrase? The jury’s still out on that.

Mario just got even more sexy by defending his wife. Lucky Mrs. Singer. But I felt a little bad for Ross Jacques, because the trick was probably LuAnn’s idea.

Well, well, WELL. Finally we meet the infamous Mr. Harry Dubin. Impressed? Disappointed? I will say I don’t think he can do better than Barbie Drescher. And their son seems so sweet! And nobody better say ANYTHING about Harry Dubin looking like Poopie (?!) the pig! How dare you even think that?!

Aviva’s like, “This is great… all this Poopie stuff… just … great…” What else can she say?

The ladies who did Harry do lunch, and LuAnn asked Sonja her thoughts on having a baby in your 40s. Sonja reveals that she had a miscarriage towards the end of her marriage, and even knew that the baby was a boy. This conversation is a little awkward because I’m pretty sure LuAnn isn’t pregnant now…

Heather takes the initiative and invites Sonja to talk with her about her brand…

Woah, woah, woah! I think we all misjudged Sonja! She doesn’t just play Mrs. Morgan and pad around in slippers, sipping cappuccinos in her garden all day; oh no. The Business Bitch came out in full force and she ran Heather over! This isn’t Mrs. Morgan’s first rodeo, kids.

P.S. Sonja looked so pretty in this scene, didn’t she?

Cool Carole invites her hipster neighbor, Tripp, over to discuss getting an assistant, noting that if Sonja can have seven interns, Carole definitely deserves one.

The ladies show up for LuAnn’s holiday party that she’s co-hosting with Life & Style, which is also a coat drive for the homeless. If ever there was an occasion Jill Zarin should have been at; you know she has tons of furs to give! LuAnn asks Ramona if she’s upset with her about her wine trick, and Ramona is like, “Um, yeah, I am!” and rightfully so. Maybe LuAnn thought it was a really funny joke and she didn’t have necessarily cruel intentions, but it could have really hurt Ramona’s business if she said she didn’t like the wine.

I’d like to see a bitch slap with them still wearing the stupid Santa ears. I love that Ramona said she was “holding the fifth” instead of “pleading the fifth.” Sweetie, how many bottles of Ramona Pinot Grigio did you guzzle on the cab ride over?

Carole adds another thing to her list of Things She Hates About LuAnn, when the Countess dares to ask the Princess to sing karaoke with everyone. “Bitch, please; I was in a music video with Aerosmith’s Russ Irwin; no way I’m participating in this small potatoes performance.”

I have to say that I love the new cast, but as I saw them all sitting together in red, something was missing for me. I wanted Bethenny Frankel to break it up a little and bring some new hair colors and a hefty dose of sarcasm into the mix.

Sonja is seeing red as well as wearing red and is drunk out of her mind and seeing Jacques dare to open-mouth kiss LuAnn sends her over the edge. She must make it known that Jacques owes LuAnn a proposal, despite the fact LuAnn never expressed a desire for him to propose. Sonja lays it out for the Frenchman: you better propose and give my girlfriend a baby ASAP or else. She says Jewish men want babies – so naturally he must want them, too!

Even though she is insulting and saying she doesn’t believe he has serious intentions, I think it all comes from a good place; Sonja remembers her own miscarriage and the dissolving of her marriage, and wants to protect her friend from her own past problems.

LuAnn asks all the ladies to sing kareoke to “Jingle Bells,” and Aviva claims not to know the words. Sister, you may be Jewish, but you’re also American; everyone knows the words and you’re not getting out of this one!

Whats’s with the housewives picking the most inappropriate performers on this season?! At the end of “Jingle Bells,” the lead singer screams, “I wanna f*** you in the ass” over and over! WHAT THE HELL?! On that note, ’til next week…

(Photos via Bravotv.com)