After the waste of time that was therapy for Teresa and her brother, Joe, the families reunite at the Gorga home for Antonia’s sixth birthday party… sans Joe Giudice. Baby steps, people! Of course, the most awkward component of the party would have to be Jacqueline and Teresa having to interact, given that their last time talking ended up with Jacqueline cursing Teresa out. In Manzo news, Albie is gearing up to introduce his new girlfriend, Lindsey, to the Mama Manzos: Caroline and Lauren. Will they approve? Take a look at my favorite scenes from this week’s episode!
Melissa teases Antonia by asking her how old she is on her birthday, and adorable Antonia responds, “First I was five, now I’m…” and I can just hear Teresa gearing up to comment that now even Antonia is copying a Giudice girl. If you may recall, “First you were one, then you were two, then you were three…” were the opening lyrics of Gia’s song dedicated to Milania.
Milania becomes Teresa’s worst PR nightmare when she says, of Joe, “He never wants to see his kids!” Then she proceeds to call him a big poop. You’ve just been told, Joe; now what’re you gonna do about it? That’s right: he walks out of the room with no response.
I still want to know the back story of Chateau. Caroline is doubtful because she has to put up the money for Lauren’s makeup studio. I kind of like the idea of Cafface; it sounds like a cute concept and makeup studios are a dime a dozen, so this could help them to stand out.
I wouldn’t exactly call the therapist’s office a horrible experience; it’s kind of shitty that Joe and Teresa decided immediately not to take the therapists advice, like literally in the waiting room, and then got into a big fight. I also didn’t get the impression that the therapist didn’t like Teresa, but I certainly wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t!
Melissa invites Teresa over for Sunday dinner; cannot wait to see how this goes! Here we go with the sprinkle cookies talk again.
In what I perceive as kind of a dick move, Joe keeps Teresa talking about Jacqueline even as he sees she is approaching slowly behind her, without warning Teresa to shut up. Gia gives Jacqueline a hug as a way of making up, then takes a step backwards in talking about her non-existent boobs. Girlll, you are going to regret that!
Corte Ellis comes over to work with Melissa on a performance for Beatstock, and I instictively cringe. Please don’t let this be another rendition of Gretchen Rossi with the Pussycat Dolls! Why must these housewives continue to embarrasses
us themselves through trying talents that are not exactly… natural to them?
Over in Hoboken, we see Albie’s girlfriend sneak out of the house with a garbage bag
full of Plan B or a Tom Cruise mask. Not exactly the best way to introduce yourself to the show, but I’m willing to give her another shot.
Miss Gia is auditioning for Beatstock in hot pink booty shorts amongst kids who look much older than her, or at least taller. And she can definitely hold her own on the dance floor! Who else loved her facial expressions, too?
As if Gia wasn’t going to make the cut! Please; Beatstock knows what a big draw Gia would be.
Unbeknownst to one another, Melissa is also preparing for Beatstock with a choreographer. Despite looking at least half-black, she has the dance moves of an 80-something-year-old white woman, and could definitely take a tip or two from her niece. It’s all the in the attitude!
At the Wakile house, the family is preparing for Rosie and her date to come for a typical Italian family dinner! Everyone seems a little anxious but excited, even Kathy’s mother. Rosie and Brianne arrive and it seems like everyone is getting along well.
Greg, Lauren, and Jacqueline roll out to the city to celebrate Greg’s birthday, and apparently Greg thinks it is just the three of them celebrating. Because they hang out like that so often? Lauren is nervous to meet Albie’s girlfriend, because she is afraid she will be a whore. What about professional cheerleader screams whore to you?!
Is it this?
Brianne runs a restaturant in the city, and says her original goal was to be a pediatric cardiac surgeon. She seems like a good fit for Rosie, who also has a high-stress, busy job. I could have done without hearing Rich say “muff-diving,” but I’ll let that one go.
Joe confuses us all by wearing a shirt so unbuttoned that all his chest hair is exposed and then grabs Chris Laurita’s crotch. But he’s not gay; of course not!
Chris tells Lindsey to call Caroline “Mom” or “Red.” I’m sure that would go over swimmingly. P.S. why is Chris dressed like Where’s Waldo? Lauren and Lindsey meet, and Melissa awkwardly instructs Lauren to “be nice.” Sure, Laur: be nice to the skinny bitch.
The housewives give Lindsey advice on how to act like a “wifey,” and it looks like she already knows what she’s doing, as we saw her taking out the trash. Now if only she took Teresa out with it! JUST KIDDING.
Caroline is paranoid about Albie putting Lindsey before blk water and I don’t know why he would have to choose one over the other. Caroline seems like she should worry less and drink more. That’s an order.
Greg does a body shot off of Joe Gorga, and then Joe proceeds to dance closely with some other gay men. All’s well that ends well. When is this road trip to Napa Valley, anyway?
(Photos via Bravotv.com)